YourTango
What’s the best advice you ever received on love? Tell us over here: http://www.yourtango.com/2015256270/w…
It’s a no brainer that when it comes to love and relationships, we all want something that’s going to last. But even though wanting to be happy is a basic human instinct, making sure that we get there is easier said than done. After all, relationships are complicated enough when you have to worry about yourself, let alone be nervous about what your partner is feeling—There’s nothing worse than not knowing whether or not you are both on the same page.
That’s why we couldn’t help but hit the 2 minute benchmark TWICE when YourTango’s Senior VP Melanie Gorman, author Dr. Sue Johnson, Marriage/Couples Counselor Gal Szekely, LMFT Dr. Rita DeMaria, and LCSW Marni Feuerman discuss the different factors that go into making a relationship work (especially since there’s no question that all relationships take work). In our own experience, the major problem that we’ve run into is trying to figure out how to form concrete bonds without stressing over everything. But according to our experts, there are a few ways that we can make sure that we have a love that lasts a lifetime. To finally get a chance at having a smooth sailing relationship? We don’t know about you but we definitely like the sound of that!
YourTango
Check out more happiness tips here: http://www.yourtango.com/2015253971/c…
ven though craving happiness is a part of being human, trying to figure out how to get it definitely isn’t always so clear cut. All of those movies make it seem as if being happy is incredibly easy, which just isn’t always the case—But we’re pretty sure that we all know this based on our own experiences. As crazy as it may sound, many people practically spend a lifetime in the pursuit of happiness. The problem is that figuring out where to even begin can sometimes make the journey feel so far away.
So is there seriously a key to happiness? And if there is, just what exactly do we need to change about our current lifestyle so we can start working on our happy ending?
According to author John Gray, there are actually quite a few simple ways to do this! Even though it may seem easier said than done, you have to remember that things that are worth fighting for take time. His spot-on advice on what we need to do to have have a happy life led us to a few questions of our own:
1. When was the last time you really looked at yourself in the mirror? And we’re not just talking about as part of your morning routine.
2. Can you honestly say that you are satisfied with everything in your life?
3. If you have a lot going on right now, can you pinpoint any ways that you may have inadvertenly contributed to the stress?
Genuine happiness definitely doesn’t happen overnight. But with John Gray’s tips, you’ll get there in no time at all!
expertvillage
When dating a divorced man, take your time and make sure that he is free with no existing baggage. Date a divorced man with tips from the author of a book on dating in this free video on relationship advice.
Expert: Dr. Paul Vehorn
Contact: www.AskDoctorPaul.com
Bio: Dr. Paul Vehorn has been a nationwide talk show host on Sun Radio Network and IRN.com, and he has a Ph.D. in behavioral psychology.
Filmmaker: Christopher Rokosz
LitteFrogProductions
Naomi Robson chats with dating expert Katia Loisel-Furey about how to know if the one you’re with is a keeper.
The girls cover those very loud and clear signs that you’re in a bad relationship and are most likely wasting your time as well as the positive signs that you’re with the right person for you. Some fascinating insights for people at any stage of a relationship… to help you decide whether to stay or move on to get what you want.
And for all your dating and relationship questions head to http://www.naomishow.com/
expertvillage
Make the first move on a date by initiating non-aggressive physical contact, such as holding hands or touching their arm, and reading body language signals. Identify whether a date is interested in a first kiss with help from a relationship coach in this free video on dating and relationships.
Expert: Donna Barnes
Contact: www.donnabarnes.com
Bio: Donna Barnes is a professional life coach, relationship expert, television host, author, columnist and producer, based in New York City.
Filmmaker: Paul Muller
Howcast
Watch more How to Flirt videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/512210-…
Flirting offers many rewards — you could meet someone special, it can boost your ego. But you also run the risk of being rejected. Learn how to deal with it in this video.
Rachael DeAlto: Rejection sucks.
Hunt Ethridge: It does.
Rachael: Big time. But, it’s a part of dating. It’s a part of flirting. It’s a part of life. You’re going to get rejected by people for love interests. And you’re going to get rejected for jobs. There’s a lot of stuff that, kind of, you have to deal with. So.
Hunt: It’s going to happen.
Rachael: Exactly. Let’s be practical here. How do we deal with rejection? My advice is basically to just get back on the horse. Realize that they make mint chocolate chip and strawberry for a reason. That not everybody is meant for you, but there is somebody out there that is. So, if you’re flirting with someone and they’re like, not interested, it’s so much better to get right back out there, and meet somebody else, and get that positive reinforcement…
Hunt: Yep.
Rachael: …than to go into the corner and be like, ‘Oh my gosh. They didn’t like me. Why am I here? Why do I even bother? I quit dating.’
Rachael: And this is one of the things, too, that talk to my clients about – the mindset too. Because the word reject is such a strong word, too.
Rachael: It is.
Hunt: To reject something really you have to know it, understand it, balance it against something else, and then choose one thing. We use the word, ‘I got rejected.’ No, no you didn’t. She doesn’t know anything about you.
Rachael: Yes.
Hunt: He doesn’t know anything about you. All it is is it’s a nonstarter. I used to be an actor. And when I would go in and hear no on my auditions I used to think it’s because…
Rachael: It’s me.
Hunt: It’s no to me. I’m not a good person. I’m not talented enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not attractive enough. And the same thing when you go out and meet people. You realize, it isn’t.
Rachael: No.
Hunt: They don’t know you. They don’t know all your great qualities. They don’t know how funny you are. They don’t know how smart you are. It’s just not going, it’s just two ships passing in the wind…
Rachael: Yeah.
Hunt: …at that point.
Rachael: It’s a little cliche. It’s not about you. It’s about them. It’s their perception of you, which, honestly, you shouldn’t care about. So, you can get rejected for so many different reasons. You could get rejected because they’re in a relationship and they don’t want to go outside of it. You could get rejected because your hair’s the wrong color.
Hunt: You could get rejected because they didn’t get a good night of sleep last night…
Rachael: Exactly…
Hunt: and they just don’t want to talk to you.
Rachael: My God, don’t talk to me after not a good night of sleep. But those are all these things that you can’t know without actually getting inside their head. So, don’t spend so much time getting inside your head. Get back out there. Get on the horse. Have some more positive connections, and you’ll be surprised.
Hunt: Yep. If you go up and talk to somebody and it doesn’t go well, what did you lose? You lost 15 seconds, that’s it.
Rachael: Exactly.
Hunt: Everything else that you feel you lost is only in your head, so just change your mindset and get out there. It’ll allow you to really go after what you want.
Howcast
Like these Sex and Dating lessons !!! Check out the official app http://apple.co/1P27qdO
Watch more Dating Tips for Guys videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/499588-…
This video is about how to understand women. I don’t think we have enough time for this but I’m going to break it down as simply as possible. Women need to feel safe. I don’t care what woman you are dating, it doesn’t matter, if you really want to understand women, which is probably why you clicked on this, you need to make her feel safe. If you want to have a relationship with her you want to make her understand that you’re as into her as she’s seeing. There’s nothing scarier than having somebody put their feelings out there and not have them in return. So, we’re pretty simple creatures. If you like us, let us know you like us. If you don’t like us then don’t waste our time.
So, it’s really about sending the right signals, letting them know that they’re reciprocated if they’re into you or letting them walk away if you’re not. So, that’s it in a nutshell. Otherwise it’s going to take years and therapy. You don’t understand me, we want to feel safe! We want to be loved. Well, everybody wants to be loved but I think women above all. Sometimes we don’t get you guys. I think guys are relatively simple creatures too but at the same time sometimes we mix signals together between the two sexes and it’s all about making guys feel good and women feel safe. If this mixes together we might have a relationship.
The woman in your life should like she’s a priority above work, above your friends. It doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with your friends or that you can’t be completely dedicated to your work but if the woman in your life isn’t feeling like she is your number one that’s going to be a problem. So, it’s all coming back to making her feel like she is, you know, your queen and pedestal. You compliment and you pay attention and you’re romantic on occasion. We’re not asking for the world here but you can’t go through an entire relationship without making the person you’re with feel beautiful and loved so you have put a little effort in. That’s what relationships are about.
Howcast
Watch more How to Flirt videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/512181-…
Wish you were better at flirting? All it takes is a couple of helpful tips and some practice. In this video, you’ll learn how to flirt using body language.
Hunt Etheridge: Um, hi! How you doing?
Rachael DeAlto: Hi.
Hunt: Hi. You, ah, come around here?
Rachael: No.
Hunt: Why not? Like, this is a great place to be. It’s a fun, fun area. You don’t look like you’re having fun.
Rachael: No, I don’t really like it here.
Hunt: Well, can I get you a drink or something?
Rachael: I’m good.
Hunt: Really?
Rachael: Yeah, thanks. Anyway.
Hunt: Okay. Yeah.
Rachael: That’s what not to do on my part if I was looking to actually be receptive. Let’s try it again with body language that would show that we’re gonna be receptive to each other.
Hunt: I’d like that.
Rachael: He was a little offended by me.
Hunt: Hello!
Rachael: Hey!
Hunt: Hey, I’m Hunt.
Rachael: Oh, nice to meet you. I’m Rachael.
Hunt: Oh, nice to meet you too. So, you part of this meet up group?
Rachael: I am. I love it! It’s so much fun. We do really amazing things together.
Hunt: Yeah.
Rachael: So did you just start it?
Hunt: Yeah. I just joined, I just moved into town.
Rachael: Oh, that’s awesome.
Hunt: I don’t really know a lot of people so I figured this’d be a good way to meet people.
Rachael: Oh, I’m here for you now!
Hunt: Oh, that’s great! That’s great!
Rachael: I’ll show you around.
Hunt: Um, what are you drinking?
Rachael: Ah, Martini.
Hunt: Oh, can I, may I?
Rachael: Absolutely.
Hunt: Alright. Give me one second.
Rachael: Okay.
Hunt: I’ll be right back.
Rachael: So obviously, that is an example of open body language. Where you’re facing each other. You’re squared off. The toes are pointed towards each other and you’re actually using touch to reinforce a positive feeling.
Hunt: Yep. I know there’s a lot of eye contact too.
Rachael: Yes. There’s smiling.
Hunt: You know, guys don’t make as much eye contact as women do.
Rachael: No.
Hunt: But there’s nothing more dismissive than kind of speaking over your shoulder.
Rachael: That’s terrible.
Hunt: Or when she’s talking and looking around. If you feel a connection or you want there to be a connection, the eyes are the window to the soul.
Rachael: Aww. And the other thing that we can talk about is mirroring.
Hunt: Yes.
Rachael: Mirroring is a really easy way to make someone else feel super comfortable with you without even trying. And it’s all about so, if I touch your arm, you touch my arm. If I move backwards, you come forwards. It’s all about really mirroring between the two parties. A way to make them feel like . . .
Hunt: If she turns around to look at the TV, you know, you turn around and kind of . . .
Rachael: You leave! But, it’s just a natural way. It’s a subconscious way to let someone else feel really comfortable with the situation. You can even take a drink of your Martini at the same time.
Hunt: Yep, yeah, exactly. And it’s part of actual sociology that we want to feel connected. And the quickest way to feel connected is to be accepted and be doing the same things. So, and you’ll notice this when someone’s interested in you. And it’s also a thing that you can consciously do yourself to let the other person know that you’re interested. So, how ’bout that drink?
Howcast
Like these Sex and Dating lessons !!! Check out the official app http://apple.co/1P27qdO
Watch more Dating Tips for Guys videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/499592-…
Alright, guys, so you want to know if she’s interested. You’ve met this girl. You’re, you know, interested in her, obviously, but you want to be able to read her cues to see if she’s interested back. And that is, , you know, it’s a little touchy. Because there’s some women and they’re just really nice, and they’re going to give you kind of what you’re going to perceive as false cues.
But, there’s a couple things that you can really pay attention to. One, that, you know, is we talked about this before, the touch. No one is touching you unless they’re interested in you.
And, you know, there is a certain smile, a certain sparkle, that I think happens between people who are attracted to one another, and you really just have to be able to, you know, weed through the ones that are more just being genuinely nice and the other ones that are, you know, looking to have a little fun. So you got to be able to read the cues. You got to put some cues out there.
So it’s all about mirroring one another. You know. If you’re going to start flirting with her, you know, you need to see if she’s going to flirt back. So whether you’re, you know, saying a flirty joke or, you know, making some vague reference to going out, you know, you need to read her cues to see if she’s going to be responsive. And sometimes, you know what, you just have to go for it. So you’ll find out if she’s interested or not is, you know, when you ask her out.
In terms of flirtation I think you’re going to have the people who are, you know, sparkly or romantic, and then you’re going to have the friend side of it. So I think there’s more, kind of, two zones here instead of making it all complicated. So you either have the people who are nice – and hopefully you’re talking to nice people, but it also makes it kind of confusing if you’re interested in them – and then you have the people who are flirting. So it’s kind of figuring out, you know, what I can throw at them to see if they throw it back at me. And then you can figure out if they’re interested.
If she calls you back, the biggest thing is the mirroring rule. And I, you know, you might have heard this before. Is if, you know, you need to get back what you’re giving. And if they’re not giving it back then you know that they’re not interested. So if you’re calling them and they’re not calling you back, or if you’re texting them and they’re not texting you back, or if you’re asking them out and they’re saying no for now, they’re not interested. And it goes both ways. So if you’re putting yourself out there and she’s not returning it then you have your answer.
But, you know, if you’ve just met you kind of have to watch the nuances a little bit more, because you don’t have her number yet. You’ve got to watch the other video.