YourTango
Here’s how you can (finally!) find your perfect match: http://www.yourtango.com/2015270390/s…

Thanks to the media, there are a lot of misconceptions about love. Society tells us that everyone has a soul mate. In every fairy tale you watch, the princess falls in love with Prince Charming. They then run off together and live happily ever after.

But if we’re being realistic, these films are lacking one major message: having a healthy and happy relationship takes effort. It doesn’t happen overnight and there is no magic potion to bring Mr. or Mrs. Right your way.

The truth is that many of us get into relationships without having the right mindset. You have a mental checklist of everything that you’re looking for in a partner, and when a good one comes along, you pick the relationship apart looking for all of the flaws.

Where does this leave you? Unfortunately, alone still searching for the “perfect” one.

The key to getting out of this connundrum is by embracing the one common denominator found in all of your relationship endings, you. The hard truth is that no matter what your relationship success or failure rate is, every relationship your in starts with YOU.

We asked the Experts to weigh in: “What steps can you take to attract the perfect partner?”

Host Dr. Tammy Nelson, Imago Institute’s Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Tony Victor LCPC, Sue Butler LMFT and Certified Sex Therapist Kimberly Anderson get into the nitty gritty of the perfect relationship and what it takes to make things work.

Sue Butler raises an excellent point about why your self perception directly affects your love life. She stresses that, “if you really don’t accept who you are … I think it will be very difficult to love somebody else. It’s a big myth in our society that we expect somebody else to complete [us].”

The bottom line is that you can’t find genuine love if you don’t love yourself. In the video, our Experts make a convincing case for why you must get your own life in order BEFORE you can truly appreciate and enjoy your soul mate.

Trust us, connecting with yourself will make a major difference in your love and personal life. Science from the National Center for Biotechnology Information supports the idea that there is a direct correlation between relationship satisfaction and self-esteem.

After surveying 885 couples over 12 years, their study found that, “the development of self-esteem in both partners of a couple contributes in a meaningful way to the development of the partners’ common satisfaction with their relationship.”

This further proves that how you view yourself impacts your relationship.

So if you want a shot at a happy ending, you must put in the work on yourself to get one!

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