On this episode of The Love Chest, Aderonke shares 10 reasons why you just might not be ready for marriage! Marriage is a lot of work and while you can’t necessarily prepare for it 100%, checking out these reasons will get you thinking about a few things you might still need to work on before you walk down the aisle.
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Jealousy and Infidelity can ruin any relationship, Learn what you can do:
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust: http://amzn.to/1jdFZnV
Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity: http://amzn.to/1No16QX
Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder: http://amzn.to/1No1bEd
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Jungle Of Jealousy:How To Deal With Jealously: http://amzn.to/1jOyUu1
Watch more How to Deal with Jealousy & Infidelity videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/513148-…
So what is the honeymoon stage? It is that stage that psychologists called limerence or stage of high passion of lust and desire. What happens during that honeymoon stage is people want to have a lot of sex, they’re connecting and they’re engaging in what is called projective idealization. And what that means is that you’re idealizing your partner by projecting the qualities upon him or her that you want him or her to have. What happens after honeymoon stage? Which is of course when the Dopamine levels drop about 18 to 36 months. It’s often sooner if the couple moves in together right away. Is that you start seeing your partner in a realistic light. That projective idealization wanes and all of a sudden you start seeing their flaws. Maybe their small incompatibilities. Things perhaps start to irritate you about him or her. And that’s when you have to start engaging in compromise, cooperation, communication and things like that. So the honeymoon stage or the limerence stage, it’s a wonderful stage but people need to expect that that state will be over and that the relationship will not always be effortless. It will require much more effort and it requires conscious decision making of what to say, what not to say, how to process little aggravations and irritations that will come your way.
What happens after honeymoon stage is that a lot of people start to feel that they’re falling out of love. And it’s not what you think it is. It is not falling out of love, you’re falling out of passion or lust. But it’s important to remember that that passion lust simply can not last. Because your brain can not put out that level of Dopamine or epinephrine as it did in the beginning stage of your relationship. So at this point what the couple needs to do is develop attachment, secure attachment where their needs are being met. Where they’re communicating and they’re really connecting. They’re making an effort to connect. That attachment is what will carry them through their lifetime. That’s something that keeps people together past the honeymoon stage.
On this episode of The Love Chest, Aderonke has a proposition. She has a suggestion for something she thinks every couple should try to do at some point before they get married. It’s a simple activity/task that can be very eye-opening and revealing about the other person.
Check on it and please share your thoughts!
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Jennifer Keitt
Taken straight out of my recent live video streamed show, I am suggesting that anyone who’s thinking about getting married ask these six very important questions before walking down the aisle!
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Compromising in marriages is a very powerful took for solving problems as a team when facing life situations together. Compromise in marriages through win-win situations with tips from a psychologist in this free video on marriage counseling.
Expert: Reka Morvay
Contact: www.rekamorvay.com
Bio: Reka Morvay is a psychologist and doula with degrees from University of California, Berkeley and Cornell University. She also trained with the Hungarian Association of Cognitive and Behavior Therapy.
Filmmaker: Paul Volniansky
The “Save My Marriage” System. Dr. Dana Fillmore shares the first step couples need to take to save their marriage, Hope. Dr. Dana’s proven system is a great alternative to traditional marriage counseling. You can save your marriage. Start today!
Save My Marriage http://www.youtube.com user/DanaFillm…